Did I just pray for rejection?

So . . . this year I had a job over the Christmas holidays. I really enjoyed it even though it was the weirdest hours imaginable. I felt like a real person. Not just a mom or homemaker but a real person. I also didn't feel guilty about leaving my family to go to work. I was able to be with them during the day and work at night. Now, because I absolutely must have 8 hrs of sleep or I become a crab, my hubby helped out with the morning duties on my late nights. I don't think he minded. It seemed to give him special time with our kids too.

Early on in my job the management began talking about bringing me on after the holiday season was over on a part time basis. It would be early morning hours instead of night but basically wouldn't be different from the schedule I already had with my kids so I was excited about it. That was mid-December. I talked to Hubby about it and prayed about it too. All systems seemed a-go.

My prayer wasn't totally clear. I'm kinda a wimp when it comes to making decisions so I asked God to just make the choice for me. If the position was going to be good for my family and me, then let them offer it. If not, then don't. (Very spiritual, huh.)

Well, long story short . . . they didn't get the position. No one knew until the last minute but it was all off. Humph. My feelings were strange right from the beginning. I felt totally rejected. At the time, I was the ONLY person working seasonal that would not be returning. That, in and of itself, was a crushing blow.

However, I had this strangely peaceful feeling. I also immediately remembered my prayer. I knew God had gone before me and seen that it would be difficult for me or my family in the long run so he nipped it in the bud. He knew. He always does. All-in-all, I was disappointed but now, I'm glad to be back to normal again. (Or as close as it gets for our house.)