The Truth

I'm really not a great blogger. I want to be. I think about my audience so much - all 5 of you. I often think about all the things I want to blog about. But, I just don't feel like I can post anything without a picture and that stresses me out. Sorry. I'm going to try to be better. How the heck do people do this for a living? Ugh.

A New Plan

I am fed up with my lack of willpower these days and now I'm trying to decide what plan to follow to lose weight. I know I need to exercise more but it's the eating that I can't seem to figure out. I lost 20 lbs about a year before I got pregnant with my first and after each baby I think I did a pretty good job of getting back to normal (even though I seemed to get pregnant again 15 months later).

However my eating habits have changed. Life is faster with a full family and I am always trying to get my kids to eat anything for dinner so I haven't been very picky about what I'm making lately. I have no idea which plan to follow. I looked at Dr. Oz but it seems very complicated and, let's be honest, expensive. I don't think I can do South Beach again but I guess it's possible. Who knows. Something's got to give!!! and I hope it's not my waistline. . . .

wishiwas

Do you ever get the "I wish I was's"??? I sure do. Especially when I am checking out all my favorite blogs and copying all their ideas for my crafty moments. I know the majority of the blogs I follow are stay at home moms that blog for income. I really want a job like that. I LOVE to sew and create but I just don't think it would work for me.

There are a lot of things I'd like to be: in fashion, more compassionate, selfless, more confident, and skinny. Ok, let's don't go crazy. Seriously though, I know God made me just like this but I know there are things I HATE about myself too. I think some of them are just me wallowing in mud but I also have a sin nature that I'd LOVE to shuck. It causes me most of my personality flaws so I could just go without . . . . I'll have to wait for heaven on that one, I guess. :(

1 Corinthians 12 talks about the body of Christ and how we all have our part. The author, Paul, says we should not wish for other gifts because our role is exactly what is needed to fulfill the cause of Christ but I can't help but wishing for some other talents. My gifts lie in areas of leadership, administration, and teaching, and I like all those things. However, I'd like a few other perks. Know what I mean??

Most days I feel very secure in what I am and what I'm not. I meet so many people that could really use this sense of security that only comes from Christ, especially women. What is it with us?? Why are we always comparing ourselves to each other??

I'm having a weak day but let's ban together on this, ladies, and do our best to be satisfied with who we are. We are wonderful women that God sculpted with His very own hand. We would want our children (especially our daughters) to be confident in who they are. Let's face the mirror and be strong for them. We are who we are for a reason and when we are in our sweet spot, we will see everything so clearly.

Not looking for pity . . . . Just some thoughts of the day, I guess.

Happy Birthday to ME!

I recently celebrated my 32nd birthday. (Yes, I am that old but thank you for thinking I'm younger.) For my birthday I only wanted 1 thing - a baby to celebrate with and pass my special day to . . . and I got what I wished for! My sweet friend, Jen, waited 6 days passed her due date just to have Abigail Rece on Dec 7th. Ok, I'm sure it wasn't her choice but now I know that Abi loves me. She wanted to be born on my bday. Of course Jen doesn't love me so much anymore but I think I can be forgiven.

Sweet blessings to my friends the Joneses. I used to share my day with Patsy but she is celebrating with her Creator this year.

Vanity Plates Run-a-muck

So "personalized plates," or the less PC term, "vanity plates," are rampant in California. It's fun trying to figure out what each one means and sometimes passes the time at the stop lights. I've thought long and hard about what my personalized plates would be and I think I've found it. Ready . . . .

TOT TOTR

What's your personalized plate?

Yoga & Jesus

Some people will automatically be suspicious with the title of this blog but I have found a unique connection in Yoga to my walk with Jesus.

As I was in Yoga last week trying not to fall on my rear, I listened to the instructor, "focus on your practice", "listen to your body", "don't worry if someone else can do this pose deeper/better", "no judgement" . . . .

I really began hearing God remind me of my personal walk with Him . . . . "focus on your relationship with me not to others' relationship", "let other people walk their path as you walk yours", etc.

I realized how much I've been focused on everyone else's relationship with Christ and neglected my own. I remembered that when I focus on Jesus, I don't seem to think about what others are/are not doing. I can stretch deeper in my walk by keeping my focus on me.

Gimmie MORE!!!

Ok, so planning a church from the ground up is totally overwhelming!!! I think there is a new stack of "To-Do's" everyday. For several days now I've been totally freaking out and feeling tremendous pressure to make things just right but last night I realized what I really need is MORE FAITH . . . I have to just simply believe that God is powerful enough to make the children's area at Ridgeline exactly what He wants in the time we have left. The cool thing is that once I realized this, I felt the pressure lift. I have changed my prayers from "Lord, help me get all this done," to "Lord, give me more faith and more Jesus."

I think that is the real ticket.

WWKW . . .

WWKW? Well, that means "What Would Kim Wear". Kim is my good friend and mentor from TX and I curse her every Friday and Saturday (and Sunday afternoon for that matter). When we lived in TX, Kim's clothing habits wore off on me. She helped me see that work out attire is for the gym, NEVER show a panty line, and it's better to be over dressed than under dressed. I curse her because every time I want to just be sloppy and grunge out, I see her looking in the mirror back at me. It sounds like she's standing there shaking her finger but Kim's not like that. The problem is that her voice has turned into my voice. Kim never told me anything . . . I just picked it up from her. (I have to admit, she's done more for my wardrobe habits than Staci and Clinton but I still watch them habitually.)

This Friday I went to lunch with a friend in the area. She is not a stay at home mom. She works from her house and has an amazing sense of style. I do not . . . and it showed. It was a rainy day around here and I didn't feel like dressing up. Plus, I'm still in the battle of "to maternity or not to maternity - that is the question." I wore regular jeans that are totally unflattering but not maternity and a long sleeve t-shirt with tennis shoes. I looked like a stay-at-home mom. I gave us a bad name on Friday. My friend looked stunning, yet casual. I was depressed. I imagine everyone that passed us thought, "What in the world is that beautiful woman eating lunch with that sad soul." The funny thing is I actually had the WWKW moment that morning and ignored the little voice in my head saying, "NO! Don't leave the house looking like that!!!" Oh, well. I leaned from that. That specific t-shirt is going in the trash and the jean are too when I fit in my other regular jeans.

Thanks, Kim. I promise to heed the warning next time!

Free Time?

My wonderful husband took our two older kiddos to a hotel and spent last night. Isn't he amazing?! I love anything that contains the gift of time! He just wanted to say thank you for all the work I do around here. WOW!

So, the only problem is I have an addiction . . . an addition to crafts. Yes, I'm saying it. "My name is Sharon and I'm a craft-a-holic." Facing the precious gift of time my honey had given me, I decided to crack out a pattern and some material I'd bought pre-baby and sew. Only there was not enough time!!! Instead of having a relaxing evening, I was rushing to get in bed at a decent hour so I didn't waste this morning away sleeping. Of course, I didn't finish what I wanted to do and now I have another unfinished project to complete at a later date.

What I should have done was to finish some of the minor project I had started earlier and then rest in front of the TV or in the bathtub. Oh, well. It was fun anyway. I just think I'd feel better today, knowing I had accomplished something instead of knowing that now I need to find time to finish one more thing.

Back to the addiction thing - I spent my morning leisurely walking through JoAnn's. What a horrible idea!!! As much fun as it was to walk up and down almost every aisle, it was just enabling my problem further. Now I have material for 4 more projects!! (Luckily, it's actually 2 projects twice, but still. . . .) I'm thinking that one day I'll have an hour or two to start them and then an hour or two to finish at a later date.

The root of all this is that I have time to find ideas and not carry them out. It's a lot easier to sit on my butt for 30 minutes and search my favorite blogs for ideas than to sit for hours at a sewing machine & ironing board and complete the project. So it goes!!!!

Sign of the Times

Last night the kids and I drove about 25 minutes to Sonic. Mommy had a craving and we had time to burn. Since it is so far, our food is usually cold by the time we get home so I had a fun idea - VAN PICNIC!!! We ordered our food, plugged in the DVD player and ate dinner in the van. It was so much fun! . . . for the kids. Karis cried so I held her and tried to distribute food to everyone. It was a challenge and I think there is more lettuce in the back seat of my van then I would prefer but it was an adventure.

Anyway, while I was sitting there with a crier in my lap, 2 kids eating tots and watching Pixar's Bug's Life, I saw 3 high school/college age girls drive up singing at the top of their lungs to something blaring from the speakers. It reminded me of several years ago. It was me!

It was me in the car next to me and yet me in the mini-van with 3 kids. I wish I had a camera. It was quite a reflective moment to me . . . . seeing what I was, carefree and apparently loud, and what I am, a crazy mom surrounded by loving little babies. I could see myself looking from the car to the van, wanting the mommy-life for my future and I could see myself looking from the van to the car, wanting to shuck all responsibility and play my music loud while drinking Sonic everyday. Deep.

Black Friday!!

Oh my, my, my! I have decided that I am completely crazy! I did it! I went shopping at 6 am this morning!!!

I have never done this before. Not only that, but I made fun of people that did. Now, I realize what an adrenaline rush it is, I may have to do it every year. Definitely when the kids are older and want all the pricey things. It's the best way to save $$$$!!!

Of course, I had no gas in the car so that delayed my shopping (well, my standing in line for the doors to open) by 10 minutes. But I did fill the tank. I had to remind myself that it was just "stuff" and filling the tank would be better in the long run than just getting $10. What's 2 minutes? Now, there were only 2 Cricuts after I got mine so it could have really cost me, but I tried to keep some of my whits about me.

Here's what I got:

Cricut -$99, that's 1/2 price for you non-scrapbookers

4 cricut cartridges - less than 1/2 price

Gilmore Girls Season 7 - I've never seen an episode from this season so I'm thrilled!!! slumber party!

Dual screen DVD for the car - ours broke and was out of warranty, of course.

Plus Christmas presents I cannot disclose at this time

I got everything on my list and I'm afraid it has only made me more hungry for next year. We might have to get a sitter so we can make more stops next year. Matt went to Sears when I got home but I think we could definitely tag-team next year and make a killing!!!

I now know I'm a suburban stay-at-home-mom. I am exhilarated with Black Friday!!! It's somewhat embarrassing that it's 2 1/2 hrs later and I'm still high. This has to be better than crack!!